At the Christmas pot luck dinner at the holy roller hall They don't allow no drinkin' of any alcohol So my aunt Hazel makes a juice without the use of
friends of mine, Elmo and Patsy, wrote me And said they'd written the perfect country Christmas comedy song I said, "No, you didn't, you didn't mention
's nothin' but chores here to mention I didn't mind feedin the sows But how do you milk a cow? How do you milk a cow? I wasn't in FFA This cow must think
down there at the Scully Mully clean up shop Ya know nails, and crumbling, and woo bow hair Ya know I love you Work it Cledus
trophy girls still have my favorite parts Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love Nascar We got cautions, we got pitstops You can't hear a dang thing
, I'll get my purse and you pay for them beers, And i was feelin pretty puffed up til she turned to her friend. I guess she didn't i'd here, them hurtful
" And took away my car keys You've done fell off the bar Can't have you driving your car With all the cops around this town You wouldn't get too far
Bill Whyte/Cledus T. Judd/Chris "P. Cream" Clark. Steve Ivey Music (ASCAP)/Cledus Crap Anthems(SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC) Every time a country awards
(Chris Clark/Cledus T. Judd/Robert Lange/Shania Twain) If Shania was mine, wouldn't be proud of me, Couldn't hardly blame her 'cos I'm so durned ugly
what they call country Really gets me aggravated Well it's a fact To many acts with a big contract Can't sing a note That song they wrote Ain't music
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Cledus don't stop eatin' for nuthin' Tell Richard Simmons he can kiss my bumpkin 'Cause Cledus don't stop eatin' for nuthin' Make my pies pumpkin and my donuts dunkin' 'Cause Cledus
smelling bad They moved into my wigwam God Almighty, they're big bums They order filet mignons And stick me with the tab They're hanging 'round my teepee Can't wear my Buffalo briefs Ain't
came to in the recovery room, wouldn't much left of me When he removed the bandages from my thighs I couldn't believe my eyes Now I weigh 180 somethin' Didn't
's gone sour My funny face makes you laugh Twist the top on and I put it back There goes the washing machine Baby, don't kick it I promise I'll fix it
I love you too an' you, you don't you worry 'bout me, I'll be just fine" I've got my socks dryin' in the microwave Hair on my back I don't plan to shave
Cledus T. Judd/Chris "P. Cream" Clark/ Cledus Crap Anthems(SESAC)/Of Music, Inc. (SESAC) I got a buddy named Stacy Fay He's been known to stay up for
right, you can't hit nothing Let's shoot dove all day long until our eardrums are blown By tonight one things for sure Boy our shoulders will be sore I just can't